Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
