We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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