that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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