8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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