I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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