he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize