Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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