His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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