you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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