Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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