the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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