Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
