The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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