he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
