you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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