carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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