it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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