I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
