meet me or not, i'm out of control
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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