You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
