y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
