There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
