I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
