I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
