So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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