you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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