Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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