Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
