Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
