I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
