So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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