problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
