my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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