Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
