i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
