All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
