I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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