Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
