He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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