I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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