All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
