We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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