My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
