I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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