you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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