Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
