I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
