Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
