we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
