he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh god it's open bar.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
